I took this photo of you just weeks before you left us. I was so excited to take your portraits in front of the pink wallpaper. I didn't tell you this, but I had been planning it for years. I had always loved the pink wallpaper. And the way the light from the big window hits the wall. One day, when I first got into portrait photography, I envisioned a photo of you here. The idea didn't come to fruition until that day when we were cleaning out your house and I forced everyone to take pictures before you moved out. The real thing was even better than I imagined. I saved editing the pink wallpaper photos for last. I squealed as I edited them. They were SO you. Delicate and lovely and fun and Grammie.
That day is a fond memory for me. It was exhausting going through all your stuff, and we didn't get much done. But it was the last time I saw you. I made a playlist for you while Momma and I were driving to your house. The first song I put on it was "Wouldn't it Be Loverly" from My Fair Lady. I put the playlist on shuffle while we started cleaning. You and I were going through the linen cabinet when the song came on. You looked at me with your mouth wide open in the biggest smile. I can still see your face.
Weeks later, you were in the hospital. I was nervous for you, but honestly not as scared as I should have been. There was no way you could die. You were Grammie. It wasn't possible.
Days later, I was at a friend's birthday dinner. I got a call from Daddy. I had to leave early. I prayed the whole way home that we could make it to Dallas before it happened. You couldn't go yet. When I walked into the house, Daddy hugged me and we all cried. Looking back, I'm glad the pink wallpaper is the last memory I have of you.
It still doesn't feel real. When I walked into your house the first time after you were gone, I looked for you all day. I would hear your voice around the corner. "Hey, baby-dear." Every time I get excited for Thanksgiving and Christmas, I automatically think of you. I think about sitting across the table from you and Granddaddy at Thanksgiving, and how excited I am to go to your house for Rueben's on Christmas Eve. And then I remember.
When I sat down to write this post, it was so I could share a beautiful set of images. I almost just wrote another one of my short, detached blog posts so I wouldn't have to think about it. But now I'm glad I didn't. It's all out there.
I love you,